Why do they die and why is it good news for me

So Shannon has watched Disney movies for a long time.....you know how either the mother or the father always die (what is that about truely).....so this morning Shannon is watching Bolt (I have never seen it so couldn't tell ya about it) and I come in the room and Shannon is just balling her eyes out.....sobbing.....she says "Mommy Bolt died"....just sobbing....now I know this is normal....but for shannon this is huge...She is not one to really connect with her emotions.  And there is more...she is doing the monkey bars and a climbing wall when 6 months ago she could even pull her self up in the tree....she is putting full complete stories together.  Even strangers are (somewhat) understand what she is saying....I know these seem like little things, but trust me they are huge for us...it means there is starting to be a balance in the brain.  Small but giant steps.  Keep dying Disney characters, we are crying our eyes out over here....

What is in the gum?

Sooooo  bubble gum....oh my god what a disaster bubble gum is in my home.  Mcgoo loves gum, loves gum..but god what it does to the poor little girl.  She was a nut case tonight, but I am teaching her that it is the gum that is doing it to her.....How can something so simple send her over the edge .  She is trying so hard.. the poor pet....so young and so tortured ...tortured by gum....

Crazy 8

Can you do a crazy "8".....So the doctor says that to stimulate the right side of her brain she needs to do some excersises.  She needs to do a figure "8" and follow it multiple times.  She has not been able to do this up until now......but this morning WE HAVE SUCCESS.  I know it seems like it should be simple but for her it is a struggle.  Like alot of things for Shannon it is the simple things that are a struggle for her.....god it was amazing.....she made it look like she had been doing it forever....when only recently she couldn't do it....It looks like we are making progress, finally a small sign.. a little something to keep me going...to make me feel like I really am heading in the right direction.....who knew it would be in the shape of a crazy 8...

What percentile are you IN ????

And so the saga continues.  More pieces of the puzzle that never seems to get finished.  So as you know I had Mcgoo evaluated and the results came back today.....So in order to qualify for special education she would have to fall in the 7% and below percentile...(not very high huh?  No wonder no one gets any help in the public schools) and although Shannon had one area of 98% percentile, she was 9% and 16% in others......so she doesn't qualify for any help but clearly is in need of help.....She is unable to repeat sentences with more than 4 words in the sentence, she fell into the 9% percentile on repeating numbers and words forward....25% percentile in repeating numbers backwards....that's my girl......always backwards.   So apparently my daughter has a short term memory problem....well go figure.  Any thoughts anyone....anything....????

Here's to another day

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but so far so good.  I can't explain it....what is it...I couldn't wait to get home tonight to see my baby....both of them actually but I get the benefit of working with one of them all day.  For those of you that have an ADHD'er you know how hard it is to get through a day....everything is a struggle even the most simplest tasks is an adventure, struggle, battle, event.....so to have even one task done without a fight is huge.....so keep up the good work Mcgoo.....here's to another day.....

Could it be????

So the weekend is over.....man she hates the fish oil but she is doing so great that she is actually taking the stuff without fighting too much.   She is doing amazingly well.  She had a few little episodes, but god she is 5 so I would imagine that would be expected.  We were I would say about 80 percent perfect this weekend.  That is pretty darn good considering we were at about 5 percent good before.  There were very few moments in any given day that she would do anything I asked on the first time.  She would fight me for everything, could it be.... could it be....could it be......could some of what we have been doing be paying off....could the miracle fish oil....could it be all the exercise she is getting......could it be all the people helping her and supporting her.....could it be the ADHD God's have decided it would be in her best interest to give her mother a break?????  Could it be.

Touch Wood everyone

Ok I neecd everyone to touch wood for me....say a pray...thank the gods, whatever it takes....I am now going on my second full good day with Mcgoo.  Can you believe it?  Haven't had to repeat myself at all.  She has gotten dressed on her own, gone to bed the first time I asked  her....has been asleep by 9:00 two nights in a row.  Ate all of her dinner, apologize for snatching the remote out of my hand with out me asking her to.  She is a totally different kid.  And from experience I know this will change as fast as the weather changes but for today I am totally enjoying just having a normal 5 year old daughter for a change.  

I have been reading up about food dyes.  Didn't know they give kids the same ADHD effects.  And of course just to screw up us parents, they hide the dye in there with big old names so we can't tell what is what....I just got used to MSG....now I have to look for Annaton and Annatoin which you would think is the same name, but nope, they change a letter and think we don't know what it is......This Annaton thing is a natural color taken from a plant so it gets to be labeled in with the "organic" stuff however if you read about it, it has the same effects as synthetic food dyes....UGH !!!!!! 

I have also put Mcgoo on fish oil.  two days of fish oil down and she is a new kid ?????  Coincidence????? Miracle drug????  Doctor really knowing what he is doing????  New hope????  Not sure but if everyone could just touch wood for me and wish me good day I would greatly appreciate it.....

A quiet night....

So I am sitting here and it is only 9:00 and she is asleep.  of course right here next to me where she had to sit because from her bedroom to the family room is just to far away for Shannon to be from me...or is it me from her.  But it is these moments that I want her near me the most....when she is asleep and quiet and content and beautiful and loving and everything that I want her to be.  I can't squeeze her enough she is asleep...I get to love her the most....this doesn't take any work, no energy, there is no frustration and no screaming, in my head or out of my mouth.....it is just me and my daughter......and a quiet night.

A moment of clarity

It always amazes me how some days are just so amazing with Shannon. Like she has these moments of clarity and you wonder where they come from and how did she do it.....She is clear and consise. She is nice and wonderful. She does every single thing you ask her to do the first time. I wonder what it was that I did that maybe worked. Can I duplicate that.....was it her dinner, was it the amount of sleep she got. Was it the quietness in the house hold before she went to bed.....was it.. was it... was it......I wonder every single minute of every single day.....what do I do today to help her get through her day.....will I have the patience today to get her through her day......will I put the right food in her lunch to help her stay focused through her day.....will her Dad be kind and loving and not critical of her every movement.....will we make it through the day without a battle....can the end of the day be as lovely as the beginning of this day was. Will she be friendly with her friends, will they enjoy her today as much as I enjoyed her this morning. Every single minute of every single day......you pray for that moment of clarity

What do I do ?????

So for those of you that have the ADHD kid, you know how hard transitions are and you know that sometimes they are neccessary.....So Shannon is going to start a new summer program. Everyone tells me how great it will be for her and she will be just fine and who knows maybe she will do better......First day there... they want to send her home cause she is hitting people. Another day crying my way to work.....I feel so hopeless. What do I do....how many times a day do I hear "you better start thinking about medication" Why do I have to start thinking about medication at 5. Will it really never get better? Will she really never get it? ....will all the work I have been doing really NOT pay off? What do I do....listen to my gut, listen to the experienced parents that don't have a kid like Shannon. What do I do????.

The day after

So she just woke up after sleeping for 10 1/2 hours.....got a little break this morning and was hoping for a bright and shiny little girl....NOT....she has a scowl on her face and I know now that the day is probably going to go down hill from here.....shit.  I just need a break.  She swam for hours yesterday with the help of good friends and family.  Can't I get a break for more than a minute.

For those of you that have a child with ADHD you understand how precious you alone time is.  You get very little of it and when you do it is probably so late at night that you struggle to stay awake or so early in the morning your in fog.   There is probably not more than 5 minutes at any given time when they are not calling your name, asking for help, asking for something to eat, asking for you to paint with them, for them.....it is always about them.  

No one gets it that doesn't live it.....you are constantly trying to find things that will occupy them for a stretch of time....nothing works.  We went so far to buy a hot tub for 1,000's of dollars in the hopes that she would swim endlessly.....nope...the one thing she loves doing more than anything she still won't do with out calling my name every 5 minutes.  It is endless and it is tiresome.  It feels like an endless puzzle that never ends and you can never finish....

My 5 minutes are up and she is calling...I better learn how to type faster if these are going to be longer...